Becoming A Parent

Dear Danielle,

Last December started the ball rolling on the biggest life change I ever decided to take on.  Parenting.  Here you were, 13 years old, your family falling apart, your grades in the toilet, and desperate for someone to come in and save you from the disaster you found yourself in.  After several tear-filled conversations with you, Leslie and I had a talk.

You see, we had been exactly where you were...are.  We saw the warning signs, the cry for help, and looking back, wished that we had had someone to help us along.  Maybe we would have made better, healthier choices.  Maybe we wouldn't have ended up with so many scars.  Our situation was worse.  Well, I can't say that, because bad is relative.  Divorce, being a teenager, and feeling alone, are bad no matter what the circumstances.

So Leslie and I talked.  We talked about what we could do for you, and what that would mean for us - two single 30-something sisters, moving in together, bringing you into that, and parenting.  The thought of us living together was scary. The thought of being insta-parents was scary.  The thought of inviting you to come here, to the other side of the country, when we knew you had issues, and things you would need constant help with, was almost terrifying.  But we loved you.  And we knew we could help, or at least try.

So we wrote to your parents, explained what we were offering, and let them think about the idea.  It was hard for them.  Lots of tears.  Lots of questions, and lots of hurt.  How do you send your daughter away, to live with someone else, even family?  But they did it...for you, because they knew it was best for you to get away...and for them to get some space.

So, here you came, with your 2 suitcases full of stretchy (exercise/yoga) pants and t-shirts, high-heeled shoes, and nail polish, 50 stuffed animals and 10,000 pounds of baggage.  And by baggage, I mean the life kind, not the suitcase kind.

And there we were, your cousins...wondering what in the world we had gotten ourselves into.

These letter to you are to help you remember, and to help you learn, now that you're leaving us and going back home, about things you need to know.  You will be missed more than you know.  And if you ever get the chance to come back...well, we'll see.