I know it's been one whole day since I told you about courtesy flushes, but I had to write it down. I can't believe you never knew about courtesy flushes. So, now that I've explained that to you, I was thinking maybe there were some other little things maybe you have not have a chance to learn about yet. So, here is my silly little post about a few (very) important things you should know in life.
1. Courtesy flushes - I'll recap our previous conversation. When you have to go #2, and you're in a public place, or someone else's bathroom, or anywhere really where you don't want someone else smelling your stuff, use the courtesy flush option. Use it as many times as needed. You can couple this with the lighting of matches...although not suggested if somewhere where you might set off a sprinkler system. If you can smell it, someone else can. Just be cautious of over-eager toilets, as courtesy flushes can turn into more like a shower for your rear end. I'm just sayin'...
2. Car tips - Don't turn on your window washer spray while driving, when you're facing the sun. You can't see anything. It's like the windshield turns into the very sun itself and you are lost on the road. Never let your gas tank get below 1/4 tank. This is a good piece of advice I never listened too. I've been stranded a couple of times because I was trying to make it on "E" for longer than a car every should be...which is never. You will. And you will get stranded. I'll come rescue you and remind you of this post. Also, keep a spare car key either in your purse, or at home where someone else can get it...or both. Grammie had to come unlock my car so many times. So. Many. Times. Always carry an emergency kit, a gallon of water, and a blanket in the trunk of your car, along with a spare, a tire iron, jumper cables, and a jack. What did you think a trunk was for, anyways?? Keep your car clean. You never know who is going to need a last minute ride. Don't text and drive. You could die. Don't drink and drive, and don't let people distract you while you're driving, because then you could All die, or you could take someone else's life. It's not worth the risk...ever.
3. Make-up Tips - Don't put your make-up on in the dark, even in the car. This is a VERY BAD idea!!! Everything ends up 20 times thicker and darker than it should be! Dramatic eyes are not for every day. Just don't. Neither yellow eyeshadow or orange lipstick look good on anyone except for airbrushed models. *shudder* You're too beautiful for that. Remember, make-up is supposed to enhance what you already have, not try and change what you got!
4. Don't trust anyone else with passwords to anything!
5. Always keep a tampon in your car and another one in your purse. You don't even know. You just don't even know...how many times I have used this.
6. Knowing what sex is, and knowing how to use protection, doesn't mean you're ready to actually have sex. (I could write a novel on this one, but I will refrain.)
7. I will find out everything.
8. I don't care what you did, where you are, or who you're with, you call me and I'll come get you.
9. Chinese fire drills are a lot of fun.
10. Don't eat tacos or spaghetti on a date. Nobody looks good in a bib...or covered in spaghetti sauce.
11. Make sure you check your rear end in the mirror after leaving the bathroom stall, if you're wearing a skirt. Skirts like to get tucked in your underwear. It's happened.
12. Take pictures whenever possible (of you and others). You will be glad to have them down the road.
13. You can reheat a slice of pizza in a pan on the stove so it doesn't get mushy in the microwave.
14. Wear deodorant, and if necessary reapply.
15. Don't overthink your career. Just do what makes you happy, find a way to make money at it, and go from there. You will truly succeed doing what you love, rather than doing what you have to.
16. Don't ever forget how valuable you are.
That's it for now. More to come later. :)
Love,
Me
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